Doctors and Mentalists
by OnlySoAnHour
Summary: Lisbon has been brought to Prinston-Plainsboro hospital during a trip to New Jersey. While House's team is trying to diagnose her, Jane and House are in a battle of wits to outsmart each other. Will have some Jisbon!
1. Chapter 1

**Yo ho peeps! Now, I know this should be in the crossover section and I respect the rules… but no one really looks there at all. So I decided to make the crossover a mystery and at the end of the chapter, all will be revealed :) After a few days (Monday at the most), this _will_**** certainly move to the crossover section, so no worries, and I do understand the guidelines! Also, the name and summary WILL change once it's in the crossover section, so just look for my pen name in the proper category :)**

**Anyways, this plot line has been bothering me for so darn long! So I hope you enjoy! There will be more explanation in the next chapter, just don't want to give anything away! PS- There shall be Jisbon sooner or later :P**

***Thank you to Auraya-of-the-White for pointing out the Princeton-Plainsboro is in New Jersey, not Pennsylvania :P I guess I am biased since I was born in Pennsylvania :D**

**Useless fact: I was listening to the Born to be Wild studio recording by Adam Lambert while writing this A/N :P Also, my foot is numb…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything!!!!!! …. Sadly :( **

"Road trip!" Jane yelled suddenly from the passenger seat, making everyone in the car jump a bit.

Lisbon sighed. Same old Jane. "This is _not _a road trip, Jane! We are here to solve a case, not have _fun_."

"We couldn't possibly drive from California to New Jersey," Cho stated, whilst reading his book.

"Why are we here, anyways? Can't the New Jersey police solve this?" Rigsby asked Lisbon.

"No," Lisbon turned around from looking at the road. "And don't ask me why. That is a question you should have asked Minelli _before_ we left!"

"How could you read in the car, Cho?" Rigsby asked, "Don't you get carsick?"

"No," Still looking at his book.

Rigsby nodded and went back to looking out the window, pointing at a few things outside like a child would.

Van Pelt laughed every time he did this. Stating occasionally, "It's like you've never seen a pine tree before," Gathering a few laughs from the team when Rigsby looked at his feet, ashamed.

When all seemed quiet, Jane broke the silence with a quiet, and then growing louder, "Road Trip! Road Trip! Road Trip! Road Trip! Road Trip! Road Trip!"

"Jane, shut the hell up," Cho said, still reading his book.

"Lisbon, turn left here," Jane pointed to an intersection coming up.

Lisbon jolted up a bit, "What?"

"Left. Turn. Here." He stated again, making sure he said it extra slowly. Something was up.

"Oh," she nodded, "Of course. Left," She turned the car. The throbbing pain in her head came back, after she thought it was gone. It felt like an over-the-top headache. Correction: It _was_ an over-the-top headache.

Lisbon groaned and leaned her head back, hoping the pain would go away.

"Are you okay, Lisbon?" Van Pelt asked her boss, concern outlining all of her features.

"Yeah, just a little headache is all," She shook her head, which hurt more than leaving it alone. Jane gave her a suspicious look, and Lisbon responded with a glare.

To ease the tension Rigsby-style, Wayne took out the giant bucket of fries he got just half an hour before. "Fries, anyone?" He smiled sheepishly, holding out the giant bucket of "greasy crap", as Cho had called it earlier.

Despite his earlier statement, Cho grabbed a dozen or so. Jane laughed and took a handful (managing to throw half of said handful at Rigsby). Van Pelt took a few, and Rigsby had a giant handful and stuffed it in his face, earning some grossed out looks from the ladies.

"Fries?" A full-mouthed Rigsby asked Lisbon.

She shook her head. "No, thanks. I'm not hungry."

"Lisbon, you haven't eaten anything all day except a tiny piece of toast at six in the morning," Jane gave her another suspicious look. "Come to think of it, you haven't eaten much for about a week. Something wrong?"

Lisbon once again shook her head. "No," She said simply as she parked at the hotel they were staying at. "Now everyone out!" They did as she told them to.

Once through the sliding doors and up to the hallway where their rooms were, they discovered that no one was on that floor except for them. That was both comforting and disturbing.

Lisbon felt a sudden pain in her abdomen, and she let go of her suitcase and bent over in pain, clutching herself. Before anyone could react, her vision blurred. She felt extremely dizzy, and her head felt like a giant balloon. Only milliseconds later, her world faded to black and she collapsed. She fell backwards and hit her head on the wall. If she wasn't passed out already, that hit would have done it for her.

Seeing this, Jane threw his suitcase down and darted forward, elbowing Rigsby in the process. "Teresa!" He yelled.

He slid down to his knees beside her. "Teresa? Can you hear me? Lisbon!" He turned around to tell Cho to call an ambulance, but he was already on the phone.

When the ambulance arrived, Lisbon was still passed out. The team went into the ambulance. Jane didn't take his eyes off of her.

When they arrived at the hospital and sat in Lisbon's room an hour later, Lisbon still had yet to regain consciousness fully. She drifted in and out. It was making Jane anxious. The rest of the team had stayed in the waiting room.

A nurse had come in and said Lisbon had broken her wrist and had a minor concussion from the impact on the wall.

The nurse was going to get the head of the medical department, regarding Lisbon's symptoms and injuries. They had yet to diagnose her, and needed specific help in treating her. She did not have an ordinary condition, the nurse had told them.

Lisbon had been awake for about an hour straight, complaining about her dizziness and her headache, and occasionally cringing at her leg. She claimed the pain in her head was getting worse. Eventually, Lisbon drifted off to sleep, leaving Jane alone.

Just when Jane was about to scream at the "specialists" for not getting to Lisbon fast enough, a man came through the door with a limp and a cane. Jane got up from his seat next to the bed.

The man threw the cane at Patrick, and he caught it, twirling it in his hands like a baton. In his short-lived fun, Jane managed to knock over a lamp that was on the bedside table. It fell to the floor, shattering.

The sound immediately woke Lisbon up, and once she saw Patrick holding the makeshift baton and tilting his head while looking at the shattered glass and pottery, Lisbon rolled her eyes, which immediately drifted over to the new man in the room.

"Woops," the man with the limp said, shrugging.

Jane stepped over the remains of the lamp to put out his hand. The man took it and they shook hands firmly and quickly.

"Patrick Jane," Jane said. "And you are?"

"Doctor House." The man said.

**Hehehe. I hope you liked it! Review, please! I'll explain some complications with the House thing in the next chapter, if you don't already know what has happened in the season 5 finale O_o**

**Also, just to clarify: I did so much research on Lisbon's diagnosis, it's insane! So it's not something that a normal doctor could solve. We need…. SUPER HOUSE!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey! Sorry for the slow update! A little busy! This is my last post in the regular section, so things will change (title, description)! Just look under crossovers and it will be there with my pen name next to it :) It's moving on Monday! Yay!**

**Anyways, sorry this chap is so darn short! I needed to set the stage for the next chapter! Also, this is under romance because there shall be some Jisbon… in the later chapters :P**

**Useless fact: I just finished a science project, only 5 more assignments to go!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist or House. That is up to David Shore and Bruno Heller… lucky guys!**

"Are you here for Lisbon?" Jane asked House.

House looked at Lisbon and then back at Jane. "Yeah," He nodded. "I'm here to diagnose your girlfriend."

Lisbon's eyes widened as House said _that word_. She moved her gaze to Jane nervously, hoping he wouldn't do anything stupid.

Jane held up both his hands in a surrender position. "She is _not _my girlfriend, _Mr. House!"_

"Oh," House seemed to understand, until he talked again. "I see the ring! Sorry, I meant 'I'm here to treat your wife.' Is that better?"

Jane turned around to face the window, gathering his thoughts before responding to the arrogant doctor. He picked up the cane again and fumbled with it. "My wife and child got murdered." He told House, still looking out the window.

"Woops," House repeated with a chuckle as he snagged the cane out of Jane's hand and hobbled away, not bothering to talk to the doctors standing in the doorway, who had seen the entire exchange.

The doctors walked into the room once House was out of earshot. There were three of them. One tall dark man, a short man, and a woman who couldn't be older than 35.

"Sorry about House," the lady told them. "He can be a little… rude, sometimes."

Jane nodded. "It's okay." He sat back down in his chair.

"Yeah, we already have our own pain in the ass at the CBI. We're used to it." Lisbon raised her eyebrow at Jane, who gave her an amused glance.

"What pain in the ass?" Jane smiled brightly.

The short man spoke for the first time. "Oh, how rude of us, I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Dr. Taob," He pointed to the other man. "This is Dr. Foreman," Pointing to the girl. "And this is Thir- I mean, Dr. Hadley."

"You started to say something before introducing me to your colleague, Dr. Hadley. What was it?" Jane inquired.

Foreman stepped forward. "We call her Thirteen. Well, House does." He shrugged.

"Why do you call her Thirteen?" Lisbon asked hoarsely from her hospital bed.

Before anyone who had a medical degree could answer, Jane cut in. "Dr. Hadley was given a number when she was first considered to be hired. The number stuck with her." Thirteen gave Jane a dumbfounded look. "Oh, and them," He gestured to Thirteen and Foreman. "They're together."

"Jane…" Lisbon warned him. He had crossed the line. Thirteen crossed her arms and looked away, directing her body slightly away from the group. "Sorry about Jane, he's an ass." She apologized.

"Anyways," Taob was getting uncomfortable with all of the "personal talk". "The team is going to work on diagnosing Lisbon. It shouldn't take long at all."

"One week, give or take a few days." Foreman cut in. "Anyways, you don't have to stay here. You can do your job, we'll take care of it."

Jane was shaking his head halfway through what Foreman was saying. "No, this _is _my job." He glanced over at Lisbon.

"Really? Sounds like fun!" House poked his head through the doorway.

"Did you ever leave?" Jane raised an eyebrow at him.

House thought for a second. "Yes, I left."

"Liar."

He ignored Jane and gestured for his team to come. "Meeting. Now."

The doctors nodded and walked off to go to their meeting room, most likely to watch House write stuff on his white board.

One they were gone, Lisbon furrowed her brow. "Since when was it your job to take care of me?"

He put a hand on her shoulder. "Since now."

**Hehehe. Hope you liked it! I'll update soon! Thanks for reading and reviewing! I love you all!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey everyone! Sorry for the sluggish updates! I am so busy right now with tests, projects, and stuff.**

**This might be the last update for a little over a week. I have a trip to go on and guess what the first rule is? "NO LAPTOPS!" Yeah, you heard me. None. I'll be reading and reviewing from my iPod, because I can do that!**

**I will try and update all my stories before I leave, but that may or may not happen. Hopefully I'll get inspired to write a special oneshot or something on the trip, but you never know.**

**I swear I have had the best luck in the past week. For example, today I was going through channel listings, and I saw The Mentalist was on a few minutes later. Before I looked at the info, I was thinking "Bloodshot. Bloodshot." And low and behold, it was Bloodshot. My luck will probably turn in the next day, though.**

**Anyways, I hope you liked this chapter. I would like to know how soon you would like me to finish the "case"… or whatever you want to call it. It can be summed up in 2 more chapters, or 10 more chapters :P Please let me know!**

**This chapter is dedicated to nitaro48, who has written a really good Harry Potter fic called "2****nd**** Generation" that I suggest you read!**

**Without further ado, here is chapter 3 :D Ew. That was a long A/N!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own House or The Mentalist, so I am stuck having to get video cameras as "early birthday presents" of my request. **

House walked into the meeting room, followed by his team. When they assumed their positions, House started his routine.

"Taob, give me the marker!" House pointed to Taob, who was trying to balance the marker on his nose. He reluctantly handed it over.

"More like Kutner every day," Foreman smiled faintly. Taob just nodded. "I swear he's rubbed off on all of us."

House decided to ignore this and got back into his routine. Once he had his marker, he felt in power again.

Writing each symptom down as he said them, House started. "The symptoms so far are fainting, headaches, loss of appetite, and fatigue."

"Well, headache could have been before of the fainting, therefore leaving it not a symptom." Thirteen began.

House considered this. "Leaving it not a symptom… but a symptom of a symptom?"

"Yes, sir." She nodded.

"Good enough." He erased "headaches" off the board, along with "loss of appetite".

"Why did you erase loss of appetite?" Taob pointed to the board.

"Why shouldn't I?" House made a weird gesture with his cane when saying this.

Foreman spoke this time, attempting to take Taob's side on the argument. "Because it is a symptom! We can't just rule things out like that, it's not… right."

"You want to be right? Then stop working for me because chances are, you'll be wrong. Also, our patient has been tested for every _normal _thing out there, so losing one symptom won't hurt." Foreman looked down at his folder when House said this. House just continued. "So that makes loss of appetite a symptom of a symptom of a… symptom. Is it just me or is the word symptom sounding strange to you?" No one replied.

"I don't think that is much to work with." Thirteen pointed out in the silence.

House started to say something, but got cut off at the first syllable.

"We're going to need more symptoms." Taob interrupted.

House began again. "We- wait!" He put a hand out like he was directing traffic. "Foreman! An intervention only works when everyone is involved!" Foreman gave his a blank stare. "Never mind, I'm going to go find what else is wrong with our patient! Sit, Stay."

"Speak." Taob muttered as House walked out of the room.

"I heard that!" House yelled, not bothering to turn around.

Jane was staring out the window when House arrived in the room without his team.

"We need more symptoms, so I'm are just going to sit here until something happens. Don't mind me."

"You're waiting here until my body screws up again?" Lisbon asked him incredulously.

"Pretty much." He snagged a donut from the box Cho had brought in earlier and took a huge bite. "It's not like I have anything better to do." He took another giant bite.

"You're wrong." Jane said, still looking out the window. "You'd much rather be gawking over your boss, though you hate to admit it."

House started to choke a little on his donut. "No, I believe you're wrong."

Jane walked towards House, all too eager to confront him. "You are a very good liar, Greg." House's eyes widened at the mention of his given name. "Too bad there's no career in professional lying. You'd get the job, no problem."

House put on his I'm-half-amused-half-about-to-rip-your-head-off face. "Funny. Too bad there's no career specializing in annoying." He raised an eyebrow, as if daring Jane to say anything else.

Patrick looked at the clock. "I'll watch over Lisbon now. I'm interrupting your 'Cuddy-time'."

"No, I'm good thank you. I wouldn't complain if you left, though."

"Nope," Jane strolled back to his chair and propped his feet up where the lamp used to be, putting his hands behind his head. "I am perfectly content right here."

House was about to get up, when the heart monitor started to go a tad crazy. Jane immediately swung his feet off the table and stood up by Lisbon's side.

"Racing pulse." House noted from across the room, adding another symptom to his list. He was glad that he could prove to his team he was not stupid (not that he ever was), and was glad that his conversation with the consultant had come to a stop. Jane was too occupied obsessing over the heart monitor than he was with House.

Just when everything looked fine- except for the racing pulse, of course -Lisbon's breathing started turning into small gasps. Jane's eyes widened and he instinctively grabbed her hand. House didn't do anything about it. He just stared at her with a smug grin on his face.

"Hard to… breathe…" Lisbon managed to get out.

"Help!" Jane yelled.

**Like it? Despise it? Feel like eating a waffle?**

**REVIEW!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey! Sorry for the slow update, I was away!** **I just realized I forgot to mention why the House segment is a tad A/U. As House fans know, he was sent to the "Crazy Facility" (as my friends would call it) at the end of S5. Obviously, he is not at the Crazy Facility. Just thought I should clear that up!**

**For anyone who cares, I will add story statuses to my profile regularly, so my readers will know what is going on with my stories! **

**The next chapter will have a "House theory", if anyone cares :P**

**Also, I got an overwhelming amount of people tell me they want to eat a waffle, so this chapter is dedicated to fellow waffle-lovers like myself!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own House or The Mentalist. There. I said it. Buh-bye!**

"We're going to have to question _someone_, House." Foreman stated as they walked down the hallway. "Teresa almost suffocated, it's about time we know _exactly_ what happened."

House stopped in his tracks. "Nah," He then continued walking, but the other way. He was hoping to get away from his employees, but instead ran into his boss, Cuddy.

"House," She held out a hand to stop him from going any further. "You're avoiding our patient."

"Not our patient," He shook his head. "It's the patient's boyfriend that's gotten me all… frazzled."

Cuddy was not amused. After all, it was about treating the patients, not avoiding said patients so-called boyfriends. "Listen to me, House. If you don't get your ass into the room this very instant, you will be on full-on clinic duty for a month. How's that for 'frazzled'?"

House shoved her aside with his cane and grudgingly walked towards the patient's room, only to be stopped by an Asian man.

"Move." He gestured the man away with his hand, but the man was making it clear he wasn't going to move.

"I'm Agent Cho. I work for Teresa Lisbon." He said, no hint of emotion behind his voice.

House was annoyed. "Good to know, sir. I will now stand on the balcony and tell the world. Besides, I don't even work here."

Another man, more built and taller than Cho, decided it was time to cut in. "But… I saw you. You were with all of those other doctors."

House rolled his eyes. "Yes, you caught me. I'm Dr. House, insert formalities here, blah blah blah. Goodbye." He went to leave, but a voice stopped him.

"You know, you would get along well with Patrick Jane. Have you met him yet?" Rigsby announced suddenly.

House walked away, avoiding the question. It seemed to him that Lisbon's team wasn't getting on his good side.

Not that he _had_ a good side.

------------------------------------------

"You okay?" Jane asked Lisbon suddenly.

Lisbon sighed. "Yes, Jane. I'm fine. Now, stop asking me that every five minutes. My answer is _not_ going to change."

Jane ignored this and continued to ask her every few minutes. To Lisbon, it was kind of sweet. Who knew he cared about her this much? She immediately dismissed the thought.

Her head started to hurt again, but this time with more force. She leaned over and grasped her head, hoping the pain would go away, but it only got worse. It was worse than any migraine she had ever had.

"Woah," He put a hand on her shoulder to comfort her, but she didn't seem to notice it at all. "Head hurts?" He asked her, even though he already knew the answer. She had complained every once in a while about it.,

"Mm-hm." She sat up again, and Jane took his hand off of her. "It's just from the wall thing. Can you believe it was only last night?"

"Nope." He said matter-of-factly. It was out of character of him to be so blunt and to-the-point.

Lisbon glanced over at him worriedly. "Is everything okay?" She asked him.

"Actually, no." He shifted his weight in his chair so he was directed more at her. "Why can't we just be done here? House is getting on my nerves. He's not bothering to even try treating you. He just sits around, watching you in pain. I don't think he's much of a doctor."

During his little speech, Jane failed to notice the figure standing in the doorway. "I have my doubts, too." House walked into the room. "Actually, I told a few of your colleagues I didn't work here. Then Mr. Wannabe Body Builder caught me in my little lie. You know what he said? He said I would get along well with you!" Jane and Lisbon glared at House. "You know what they say: More brawn," He used his arm to show his muscles. "Less brain." His voice creeped into a stage whisper at that point.

Lisbon straightened up as much as she could with her broken leg. "Did you just insult Agent Rigsby?" She asked in disbelief.

"Yes, I believe I did." House nodded as he walked into the room.

"I don't think you understand what you just did, Mr. House. You criticized a police officer." Lisbon stated a little more firmly, as if it wasn't obvious what House had done.

House changed the subject quickly, finding no use in arguing with a petite police officer. "I need to talk to your _friend_." He motioned towards Patrick to get out into the hallway. Patrick obeyed with a mock salute, gaining him an amused look from Lisbon.

Once they were outside with the room door closed, Jane sat on the bench, making himself comfortable. "Go ahead, doctor." He gestured for House to start talking.

"Patrick, I need to ask you a few questions about what happened yesterday. Under mandatory standards only, of course." Jane nodded in agreement. "Did you notice any strange behavior from her before she passed out?"

Jane ignored the question. "I feel like I'm supposed to be the one doing the questioning, don't you? I mean, I'm with the police and…"

"Shut up!" House yelled. "If I don't get an answer then I am on clinic duty for a month."

"Fine, then. Lisbon was a little dazed and was complaining about a headache. She didn't eat, but I presume you have taken that off of your whiteboard as well. Other than that, not really."

House pondered over this for a second. Before he could say anything more, Jane said it for him.

"But she _does_ have odd symptoms here, which is what you're trying to piece together." Jane smiled hugely.

"And you're an ass." House stalked off towards the meeting room, feeling no closer to the answer then he did when Teresa first came in.

**Hope you liked it! I will be sure to update ASAP…which can mean a lot of different things for me!**

**Now, there is a b-e-a-Utiful green button below. Click it, and it will let you tell me how good/bad/crazy/boring/WAFFLE this chapter was ;)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Why, hello there! I don't know why, but my profile seems to not be updating O_O haha.**

**Anyways, this will be my last update for about 2 weeks! I'm going to Europe! Sorry to leave you guys! You know I love you all so much! Now, I must rant. Guess what? They don't have The Mentalist on the airplane! They did back in March, when I wasn't obsessed! Cruel punishment!**

**Anyways, hope you enjoy this chapter! Sorry if it gets a tad OOC. This chapter started off as something else and went full out Jello on me (hope you know what that means ;D)! Has this ever happened to you? When you start to write a chapter but it doesn't work so you edit and rewrite it, read it over, and don't know what you just wrote? Maybe that's just me…**

**Enjoy :D**

**Useless Fact: On every The Mentalist personality quiz I take, I always get "You are like Lisbon!" And my sister (Kelly) gets Cho. I constantly mock her for that, being that she acts like Cho sometimes, and apparently I act almost identical to Lisbon in most situations. Creepy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist. Now leave me ALONE!**

Jane had been in Lisbon's room for an hour straight. He only left for short periods of time, mostly to get tea for himself.

"Jane," Lisbon turned her head toward him. He was sitting beside her, but looking out the window. "You know you don't need to stay with me. You could just as easily go back to the hotel and have a good time, just like the rest of the team does. It could save you from wasting a lot of time," She glanced out the window to check if _he _was standing outside, like he always was. "And losing a ridiculous amount of patience." She noted also his foot, which was tapping rapidly. A habit he had recently adopted.

Jane shook his head. "I'd rather be here. And there is something wrong with you if you think I would enjoy spending the day watching Rigsby fantasize about Van Pelt, Van Pelt trying not to fantasize about Rigsby, and Cho being silently depressed about being the only one on the Serious Crimes team without a secret-or not so secret- crush on someone else in the team." He smiled, but then realized with a jolt what secret meaning could be hidden in his last ten or so words. He secretly hoped she wouldn't notice, and would be too doused up on pain meds to hear clearly. _Fat chance, buddy._ He thought to himself.

Lisbon's eyes seemed to bug out of her head at his last statement. _Damn that man. _ She thought angrily. Why did he always have to be right? Although for once, his smug "I'm always right" smile wasn't in place. Instead, it was replaced by a very rare, insecure expression. She shook her head. "Wait, what? _Secret crushes?_" Jane looked at his feet. "Hold on, you said everyone but Cho. That means…" She didn't finish her sentence. There was no need to.

He plastered his smug grin on. "And now you'd like to know who, I assume." He raised an eyebrow at her.

"Well, you can't tell a girl that and expect her not to be the least bit _curious_!" She internally laughed at herself for acting like a sixteen year old girl. Her smirk fell once she thought of the only rational person she could. "You know, Van Pelt is in love with Rigsby, right? Even though she likes to deny it. And I don't think Rigsby would enjoy it that much if-"

A very loud laugh erupted from Jane before she could continue. "You think… me… Van Pelt…? Now that's funny!" He managed to gasp out between laughs. He sobered up after a few moments. "Seriously, Lisbon. I know I'm fit and all, but you can't compete with an angry Rigsby. Remember the time he smashed that man's face into the desk? I would _not_ like to be in that position, thank you." He straightened up in his chair as Lisbon considered this.

She got a strange look on her face after a while and glanced quizzically at Jane, seemingly disturbed. He was amused at this. "Yes, Lisbon. I am straight." She opened her mouth to say something, but immediately closed it, trying to process what he had just said. Before she could say anything, Jane got up to leave.

"Call me when you've figured it out." He turned his head around to face her and winked.

Only seconds after he left, House came in. "This is better than a soap opera." He remarked, pretending to be tearing up.

"Why did you come here?" Lisbon asked him, disappointed he was ruining her rare few moments of alone time.

"Oh, don't complain! Unless you want to spend more time with me…" He furthered, then set off into an overly cheery voice. "Doubt it!"

Lisbon hoped House would just leave her alone. _Fat chance, buddy._ She thought to herself.

Suddenly, House stepped forward and seemed to take on a new responsibility, feeling more in control. "You have primary pulmonary hypertension." He stated clearly, as if it was obvious.

Lisbon squinted. "Which obviously is…" She let him finish the sentence, not knowing anything herself.

House rolled his eyes. _Stupid federal agents._ He thought. As if on cue, Thirteen walked into the room to answer Lisbon's inquiries."It refers to high blood pressure in the arteries that carry blood to the lungs for no apparent reason. It's rare, but it fits your symptoms."

"Is there any way to prove this?" Lisbon asked, skeptical of House's diagnosis. After all, he himself said he wasn't a good doctor. Or was that sarcasm?

House stayed silent, toying with his cane just like Jane had. Thirteen spoke up again. "We'll do an echocardiogram. There are certain faults we can see that lead straight to PPH, or primary pulmonary hypertension."

Swinging the cane around again, House "accidentally" hit Thirteen in the arm, she screeched in pain. This caused everyone near enough to glance over at the room. One of these people was Cuddy.

"What happened in here?" Cuddy stepped in, while giving everyone who was still staring a warning look to get back to work.

"House happened." Thirteen managed to get out, holding her arm. "Do us all a favor and _get that cane away from him_! He's already broken a lamp with it, and apparently my arm, too." Cuddy started to say something, but Thirteen guessed it already and walked out to get her arm checked.

"You broke a lamp?" Cuddy asked House in disbelief.

House put one hand up in a half-surrender position. "Hey! Don't blame me for the lamp abuse! It's was Teresa's psychic friend who stole my cane and whammed it into the precious artifact."

"Lamp abuse? How about people abuse? You injured your employee in your foolishness! You'll have to find another mode of transportation. Wooden sticks prove too hazardous to you." With that, Cuddy took Houses cane and strutted away.

"You know, you should have more respect for cripples!" He called after her loudly. "This is like… like… _cripple abuse_!"

He limped heavily out of the room, muttering something to himself. This left Lisbon alone again.

Five hours past and the only visitor she had was Rigsby, who had planned on bringing her a box of donuts, but ate half of them on his way to the hospital. She asked him if he had seen Jane, and he told her he hadn't seen him.

The sun was setting as Lisbon thought over her options. She finally decided.

She reached over to the table beside her and grabbed her cell phone with a smile, calling the number a certain consultant had said to call when she "figured it out".

**I know the whole "confession" thing happened suddenly, and I know it took awhile for Lisbon to figure it out, but she is on pain meds. With the whole "sudden" thing, it had to happen eventually! Don't worry, though. They won't go all head over heels lovey dovey all of a sudden and blah, blah, blah, you know the rest!**

**So don't say that I didn't work as hard on this one because I worked my tail off :D And I hope so very much that it shows :)**

**Read and review!!!!! See you all soon! xoxo**


	6. Chapter 6

**VERY long A/N ahead. You have been warned. But it's important!**

**My sincere apologies for not updating for so long! I am so very sorry, but things have been rough in my family, so I'm hoping it will get better soon. Plus Internet was out for a week, and I spent that time trying to write the second part to this chapter, but I got stuck every time. So sorry again. :) And I just found a new muse for this story. I have been watching House a lot, but not The Mentalist. It was on last night, so I got a feel for both again. Well, that and a few minutes after "Flame Red" ended, I went into my mum's bedroom to say goodnight and House was on. I was like, "It's a sign!" And just flew threw the second part of this chapter!**

**A super duper sorry to Divinia Serit. I have been a loyal(ly long) reviewer to her story and I suddenly stopped reading and reviewing (for the reasons above). I know you read this, so I am so sorry! I will start reading and reviewing again tomorrow and/or sometime before Monday! So this chapter is dedicated to you!**

**Another dedication/message to SIMONBAKERFANATIC, who ultimately helped me through my writers block for this chapter during our TV marathon! Also, nitaro48 I thought I should mention, is an amazing friend. Luv you both, girls!**

**Also, my sister Kelly's birthday is August 1****st****, so wish her a happy 15****th****!**

**This chapter is a pointlessly important chapter, so I hope you like it :D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own you Mentalist or House! I wish I did, but I don't**

**PS- I will have to start a scavenger hunt for this story, for every chapter starting now, I will have some references from movies/books/tv shows to look for, and you can guess where the references are and what they are from! There are two show references in this. Can you guess what they are?**

Thirteen stepped out of the room, a cast placed on her arm. It was embarrassing enough to be a doctor walking into the ER holding her arm, but it put her over the top to have to explain _how _her arm got broken.

Too distracted in her thoughts to pay attention, she bumped into someone. Foreman.

"What happened to your arm?" He was surprised to see Thirteen in a cast.

Thirteen almost laughed at this strange sense of déjà vu. "House happened. Let's leave it at that." She walked towards the elevator to go back up to the meeting room. Foreman was close behind her.

Once the elevator doors shut, they got back to business.

"So how did the echocardiogram go?" She asked him. She had missed the test while she was getting her arm fixed. She hoped it would show up positive, so Teresa could finally go home. At least she'd bring Jane with her, and House would stop being more grumpy than usual.

Foreman looked down at the ground, avoiding her gaze as much as possible. "It came up negative, which is really strange. That means we have to start from scratch."

_Ding. _The elevator had reached is destination. "Well that's a pain." Thirteen muttered.

Phone in hand, Lisbon listened to each ring carefully. _What should I say to him? _Lisbon thought miserably. _What if he doesn't pick up? Or even worse, what if he _does _pick up and I freeze up? Why does life have to be so complicated?_

"Hi Lisbon!" A very cheery Jane answered.

"Um… hi Jane!" Lisbon said hesitantly through the phone. She twisted a stray string of fabric from the sheets in her fingers, distracting herself.

She could almost see is 100-watt from the other line. "Aren't you going to ask how I knew it was you?" He filled the awkward silence. Or semi-awkward, because it was only uncomfortable for Lisbon.

"You know I _would_ but I know you have caller ID." She tried to laugh, but she couldn't bring herself to.

"Oh," As before, she could almost see his smile falter. "Never you mind. So, what are you calling for? I know it's something important. But you seem a little hesitant."

Her fingers froze as she dropped the stray string. "Y-you don't know?"

"Nope." He said, popping the "P".

"Very funny, Jane." She said sarcastically.

"Really, Teresa. I don't know why you called. Remember my job title _former _psychic? Hence the _former_." He said seriously.

"You really don't remember? You asked me to call a few hours ago."

"Are you feeling okay, Lisbon? I think they've put you on one to many brands of pain meds. You know that's not to healthy for you. It's kind of like the time Rigsby…"

"JANE!" Lisbon fumed. "Are you for real? You don't remember anything you said to me? Wow. That's smooth, Mr. Jane." And with that she hung up the phone, trying to calm herself. With the sound of those ever-annoying-now-familiar footsteps, she knew she wouldn't be calm.

"As much as I'd love you to leave," House began. Lisbon braced herself for a harsh comment. "This is just so damn entertaining to watch! Can you just trap _him _in the phone? Or is it one of those 'buy one get one free' deals?"

_This man has lost it. _Lisbon thought as she raised an eyebrow at him.

"You know, like I need you here," he pointed to her. "But he just comes along with you. Like a sort of package deal. Does that sound too corny and couple-y?"

"Jane and I are not a package deal." She spoke through her teeth at him.

"Close enough, but this is like a TV show I watched the other night. The man was in the hospital and forgets the woman he loves, but he doesn't know he loves her yet. It's _tragic_." He made a faux pouty face with the last word.

Lisbon didn't want to say she didn't know the show because she actually works and doesn't sit and watch shows all the time. But she bit her tongue and held back, at least until his weapon/cane was gone.

Dr. Hadley walked in just then, giving a nasty glare to House and gesturing to her arm.

"Damn." He glanced over at her arm with a smirk. "You think I'll get charged for violence? Nah, I'll just blame it on Blondie."

"Blondie? You mean Patrick?" Thirteen questioned him, running through the usual routine that they went through when House gave strange nicknames to people. But Kutner usually took the roll of questioner. _Kutner_. A pain ripped through her as she remembered the man who took his own life. Her friend.

"No, not Blondie Patrick. The other one." He made a shooing motion with his cane.

"Cameron?" Thirteen asked again, wishing everyone had a different color hair, like in a 64-pack of crayons. Then she wouldn't have to go through every blonde she knows of.

He made to motion again with his cane. "No, no, no! The _other _one!" He said with annoyance. It was like as if he expected her to read his mind or something.

"Chase?" She asked, no enthusiasm in her voice. She was tired of this game.

He pointed his cane at her and even though she was way out of his "line of fire", she flinched back a bit. "Always blame the Aussie! But Patrick does look a bit Australian, I'll give you that! And Thirteen, I'm not gonna kill you with my cane from here! Stop acting like I'm some sort of LDSK."

Thirteen squinted an eye and raised an eyebrow at him. "LDS what?"

"Long distance serial killer…?" He prompted, hoping to get some sort of reaction. "Come on! Do you guys watch any TV?!?!?" He limped out of the room, probably headed to watch General Hospital and his other shows.

"Sorry about that. Anyways, I just came to check back on you. Are you feeling okay?" She asked, clipboard in hand incase anything interesting popped up.

"Yes, but do you know if pain meds can cause hallucinations?" Lisbon asked, slightly embarrassed.

Thirteen double-checked the medication list. "No, they don't. Are you… having hallucinations?"

"No, no. Just wondering." She gave a weak smile at Thirteen as she walked out, probably headed to smack House on the back of the head with her good arm.

**Thanks for reading! And thanks to all you new story-alerters! If you want to, just press that rectangular button and tell me what you think! And all ye faithful reviewers, you know what to do ;)**

**Don't forget to guess the shows! Betcha can't guess the second one! And don't cheat by looking it up on Google! The people who can guess what shows they're from will get a special mention in the next chapter!**

**I love you all!**


	7. AN MUST READ!

**Pleaaaase read at LEAST the first paragraph!**

**I know, I know. I'm a horrible person. I promised an update and look how long it's been. For that I am so very sorry! We actually had another vacation planned. The vacation in which I tripped and fell OUT of a pool. Everyone asked me "Oh my! Are you okay?" and such. And I just replied with "No, no. You don't get it. This happens all the time!" And I started school… but that's not an excuse :P**

**I live in Canada so I got the season 2 premiere of Mentalist Tuesday :) It's soooo gooooooood! A lot of Jello! Hehehehe….**

**The reason this is just an A/N chapter is that I don't believe I could be able to write a good chapter now. **

**I do believe that the Bones reference was a bit tough, because a few shows have done that. And I am sorry for that. The LDSK was my favorite reference! Because (now don't go and hate me) well, Criminal Minds is my favorite show. *prepares for pitchforks* Sorry, but it is! And believe me when I say that Matthew Gray Gubler is the coolest person ever. If you've seen his website… you'd understand ;) And he tweeted me, so I'm all happy :D But I'm kind of sad because I joined Twitter just to ASK him a question, and he answered in a tweet. Then some girl was like "WTF? She just joined and she got a reply?" I was going to say "That's right b*tch!" but decided against it.**

**And the Criminal Minds premiere. My God. That was epic.**

**But enough about my weekends (smooth, kid). The movie reference will be in the next **_**full **_**chapter. Here's a hint to the **_**4 **_**movies that will be referenced. Two are "older" movies (we're talking around the 80's). One is recent and one is semi-recent. No, I will **_**NOT **_**be doing Twilight. And this time, the references will be oh so very subtle. For example, if I was referencing The Outsiders (the movie, obviously) I wouldn't quote House as saying, *****spoilers***** "You haven't seen the one where the kids hide out in an abandoned house after one kills a guy, and they spend thei?" Instead, he'd say "Yay! I've killed a man. Should I go hide in a house and wait for my friend to come get me? Or should I just stay here and wait for the cops to arrest me? Choices, choices." And that's how my mind works :D It may not be THAT difficult, but it will be pretty hard :D**

**I'll have a very special reference in each chapter. It will be a ****quote****! A quote for all you Criminal Minds fans! Well, I'm hopeless.**

**Also, I didn't get a reply last time I asked: WHEN DO YOU WANT ME TO END THIS STORY? Please say chapter numbers :)**

**Thank you so much for reading my story and enduring my long A/N's so far. I'm much too talkative!**

**Love, (but not in a creepy way, my internet peeps ;D)**

**OnlySoAnHour **


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